Becoming Mommy: Thoughts on Motherhood...and Masks

I logged on tonight to write up about these pretty little masks Lu and I made.  Then I realized that there really wasn't anything too special to write up about them.  Just a little hot glue, fabric, and store bought mask forms...and I couldn't really figure out why I liked these masks so much, or why I wanted to write about them.  Then it hit me.

Someone once told me that there's this moment in parenting when you realize you feel like yourself again--you know, that pre-kid, well-rested self that seemed to disappear somewhere in the dirty diapers, spit-up, and temper tantrums.

I'm not entirely sure that I'll ever be the same person that I was before having kids, but I think I've experienced that "moment," or at least a glimpse of it.  It's the--my kid is suddenly this mature, amazing little person.  And we're having a real, honest to goodness conversation.  And I'm not covered baby vomit, exhausted, or lugging strollers around.  (Ok, maybe everything but the well rested part. We're not quite there yet for sleep.)

I love crafting with my kids.  That said, when I do crafts with my kids I don't feel like my sane self. Crafting with my kids involves suppressing all my OCD tendencies--"Ah, no!  Not that pom pom there..must straighten.  No, No.  must NOT touch...agh!!!--while preventing them from destroying walls, clothing, or themselves.

But this time I felt sane.  Really, really sane.  We made these masks calmly, talking about crafting all mixed in with the real life stuff.  Lu told me she feels different now, older...and as much as she's still a little girl I felt like if I squinted I can see her at 15.

And I felt amazingly grateful to just be present in the moment.  So insanely grateful to just be her mother, and so insanely grateful to just be able to watch her journey of growing up and finding her place in the world.  Grateful for crafting and spending time together.
My little girl went to her first dance.  With her Daddy.  As I watched them drive off I could feel her excitement.  Maybe I didn't like the emphasis on dancing and balls, and dressing up.  Yet I realized that this simple ball was a lot about relationships too.

The relationship I shared with her getting her ready and preparing her mask with her, and the relationship she shared with her Daddy.  The Daddy who danced more that night than he ever did in the 15 years I've known him--because he didn't dance, until he had a little girl. Good, good stuff.

And I thought this post would be about making masks.  Silly, silly, silly me.

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